I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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