Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
