where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
