remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
