So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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