Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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