Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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