ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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