Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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