why didn't you poke me back
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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