why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
