The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
