You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
