i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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