Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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