You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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