I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
