I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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