You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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