Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
