So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
