She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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