Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
