it hurts more in the daytime
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
