Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
