I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
