I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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