girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I love how my cats smell like pot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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