I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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