Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
