I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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