Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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