last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
