that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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