His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Panties = found
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
