I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm really into asian looking animals
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
