Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
