This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
