after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she peed on how many people?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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