My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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