In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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