I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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