Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
