no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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