come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
