when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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