I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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