whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
