We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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