So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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