what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
