Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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