i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
