whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
