I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His nipple licking is glorious
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