Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize