So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
