When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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