I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
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Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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