She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My legs feel like baby dolphins
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
