dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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