with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
no, he came in my armpit
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My vagina is very pro this idea
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
