I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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